To many who knew him during his 40-year run at Guilford, Anthony Gurley ’77 seemed to have it all: an irresistible personality with a matching smile, and the affable energy to charm students and alums alike. The reality, though, was more complicated.

Anthony’s self-published autobiography released earlier this month, Deadly Dilemma: A Memoir, addresses the other, often darker, side of his life. It tells the story of a young boy growing up poor in eastern North Carolina smothered in fears and doubts of self-worth. Decades later those fears turned into long bouts of depression.

That’s one reason he wrote the book, says Anthony. “Writing this memoir helped me sort through my thoughts, my experiences and feelings,” he says. “There’s a lot of emotion, good and painful, in the book and putting them on paper was incredibly therapeutic.”

Now retired and living in Kernersville, N.C., Anthony says he originally wrote the book for a limited audience: his wife, children and grandchildren. But when a friend read a manuscript, they told him he was not finished. “I remember exactly what she told me,” he says. “She said, ‘This is your story, Anthony, but there’s a plumber in Dubuque, Iowa, with their own story and he hasn’t been willing to confront his story and deal with it.’”

Anthony went back to work. More than four years later, he’s hoping others – plumbers, doctors, students, teachers – read his story and confront their own issues.

Growing up in Goldsboro, Anthony was never particularly close to his parents -- his father walked out of the family the night Anthony was cut from his middle school basketball team – and he suspects many of his issues of self-worth can be traced to those days.  Anthony’s story is, at turns, dark. But he also shares many professional and personal highs in between those moments.

“I hope the book answers the question, are the good times -- the successes, the victories, the wow moments, the peaks that we all experience – do they come often enough?” he asks. “Are they powerful enough to overcome what for many can be a daily struggle with failure, disappointment, self-image issues, and loneliness?”

Anthony enrolled at Guilford in 1967, but those lingering issues of doubt forced him to drop out twice. He attended the College on and off over the next decade, graduating in 1977. He went to work  as Guilford’s Director of Financial Aid in 1979. He retired in 2009 after 30-plus years working at the College before launching a non-profit scholarship and mentoring program.

In the book, Anthony shares many stories from his time at Guilford. For example, he writes about being one of Guilford’s first two male cheerleaders. He hopes Guilfordians order a copy to learn more about his story.

“If I can get through to that plumber in Iowa or wherever they are, then mission accomplished,” he says.